The content in this section was developed in partnership with Teach Us Consent, an organization dedicated to consent education.
Let a Friend Know
Make sure someone knows where you’re going and when. Consider sharing your location with a friend or family member for a discrete amount of time, or if not, let them know if you switch venues and when you get home safe.
Meet in a Public Place
When first taking things off the app, it's a good idea to arrange to meet somewhere in public. Cafe, park, bar, restaurant — anywhere that has high visibility and people around. Meeting someone for the first time at their place, or even your own, leaves too much at risk if you don’t know them that well yet.
You Have the Final Say
Sometimes you’re vibing on the app chatting, but when you meet IRL, the spark just isn’t there. Or you’re having a really good time, but don’t feel ready to go back to theirs just yet.
Maybe you’ve met up but something really doesn’t feel quite right about the interaction, and you can’t put your finger on it just yet.
Even if a whole multi-venue date was planned, you’re allowed to leave. When it all comes down to it, you don’t owe anyone a whole date if you’re not feeling up for it, and if they do not respect your boundaries or how you are feeling, then it's probably not someone you’d want to keep dating anyway.
Most importantly, when your gut instinct is telling you to leave, listen to that. This is especially true if someone is pressuring you to go somewhere that wasn’t agreed upon or go back to their house.
Contraception
See more in Teach us Consent's Article Let's Talk about Protection (without killing the mood).
There’s no one-size-fits-all with contraception, and it's best to have a talk with your GP or a sexual health nurse about what is best for you. As a recap:
- Condoms (external and internal): 98% effective (when used perfectly) against both pregnancy and most STIs. External condoms go over the penis; internal condoms go inside the vagina or anus.
- The Contraceptive Pill: Taken daily, it is 99% effective at preventing pregnancy but doesn't protect against STIs.
- Implants and IUDs (long-acting options): Inserted into the body by a doctor and can prevent pregnancy for 3–10 years at over 99% effectiveness.
- Patches and injections: Hormonal options that need to be replaced regularly, and are 91–99% effective.
- Emergency contraception (The Morning After Pill): Not recommended to be used frequently. Can prevent pregnancy if taken soon after unprotected sex and is more effective at certain points in your cycle. Speak to a medical professional about taking this pill and stay conscious of signs of pregnancy after.
If the person you’re with refuses to use contraceptives, or tries to guilt or pressure you not to use contraceptives — “It's not a big deal,” “it doesn't feel as good,” “it's fine, I'm on the pill” — you always have the right to protect yourself. Your health and safety is non-negotiable, and it is never up for debate.
It is important to remember that contraception such as the IUD, the pill, implant, patch and injection don’t protect against STIs. That’s why it’s recommended to use condoms and another form of contraception at the same time when you’re first starting to get intimate with someone, before you’ve had the ‘going exclusive’ talk. Even if you are exclusive, you’re always entitled to say you want to use protection.
Sexually Transmitted Infections
Regular sexual health screenings are an important part of keeping you, and the people you are with, safe and informed. It's recommended to get a sexual health screening every 3 to 6 months, or a week after having sex without a condom.
Telling someone you have an untreatable and reoccurring sexually transmitted infection is hard. While you don’t owe anyone your full story, and it is your right to set boundaries about how much you divulge, there are situations where being honest helps the other person make an informed decision on whether, or what kind of, sexual activities will take place between the two of you.
It's a good idea to talk to your GP or a sexual health professional for advice on how to have that conversation, and what information should be shared.