The content in this section was developed in partnership with Teach Us Consent, an organization dedicated to consent education
Understanding Boundaries
A lot of people talk about boundaries, but what do they actually mean in practice, and why do they matter?
A boundary is simply a way of communicating your needs, to yourself and to others. It defines what you're comfortable with, how you want to be treated, and what you are and aren't willing to participate in. They're not walls. They're how you show up honestly while still taking care of yourself.
Healthy boundaries in a new or developing connection can sound like:
- “I'll only have sex with a condom.”
- “I want to make out, but that's as far as I'll go for now.”
- “I can come to the event, but I'll need to leave by 9, I have an early start.”
- “I need some space to cool down. I'll reply tomorrow.”
Notice what these have in common: they're all about your needs and choices, not imposing rules onto someone else.
Setting boundaries isn't always easy. It can bring up guilt, fear of letting someone down, or worry about rocking the boat. But communicating your needs honestly doesn't damage a healthy relationship; it actually strengthens it.
Digital Boundaries
Your location, messages, and passwords are private and you should never feel pressured to hand them over as a show of trust or commitment. Healthy digital boundaries can sound like:
- “I'm not comfortable leaving my location sharing on, but I'll let you know when I get back home.”
- “Can you please let me see the videos from the party last night before you tag me in them?”
Digital boundaries can also include how we share images of other people. It's always best to ask before you take a photo of someone or post an image of them on socials. Just something as simple as:
“I got a great shot of us tonight, are you okay if I post it?”
Not everyone is comfortable being on someone else's social media, and asking shows respect for their privacy and autonomy.